Mommy D Says Good-bye to Jaydon

Now that my emotions have settled down from our meeting with Mommy D, I wanted to reflect on the positive parts of the meeting so that I can share with Jaydon some positive things about his birth mother.  While she was holding and cuddling him, she would talk to him with tears in her eyes.  That was painful for me to see as I can only imagine the pain she must be going through in placing her son, knowing that this is best for him.  She then pulled him away and gave him some cute and funny instructions. I will try to remember at least the gist of what she said.

He should go home with the nice lady (me).

He shouldn't cry too much.

He should be a good boy.

He shouldn't poop or potty on me too much, except on Tuesdays.  When I asked her why Tuesday, she didn't know. :)

These instructions will hopefully be helpful to Jaydon later, knowing that this was one of the ways that his birth mommy tried telling him good-bye.  She also told him more than once that she loved him and kissed him a lot.  She snuggled him until he fell asleep and then passed him on to me.

Although she has a rough history, I also want Jaydon to know that she is a caring person and that she did indeed love him.  She loved him enough, to place him in a home where he could be taken care of and loved and given what she herself could not give. 

There for a couple of days I wondered if we had made the right decision in meeting with her but now I am so thankful we did.  I am thankful for the pictures to share and the good stories we can tell.  Here is what a couple of fellow adoptive parents shared with me when I shared how our visit went:

Joy I'm so sorry the visit didn't go as planned. Please keep in mind however that while it may not seem on the surface to have healed her heart, down the road that may change. Remember that she is still staring down the face of addiction, a beast that is hard to tame. Hopefully this experience, once she has absorbed it, will help her heal and realize she made the best decision for her child. It's wonderful that you honored your son and were able to get pictures with his birth mother. Take solace that he will so appreciate that gesture one day!

Another person shared: Please know that for your son it wasn't a waste... those pics and the act of love you gave him by going to the visit... and you never have it over your head because you followed through and don't have to deal with the what ifs.... so thankful to the Lord you have your little guy to hold tight!

I am so thankful for these encouraging words!  

I firmly believe that if I am to truly love Jaydon, that I must truly love Mommy D.  I don't have to love her actions or lifestyle, but I do need to love her as a person, just like Jesus would have me to do.  Unfortunately, loving her does not mean that we will continue to communicate with her.  For the safety of our family, it will be best to keep our communication through the agency. 

Thanks for letting me share as I got some of my scrambled thoughts together. :)

On another note, I was just emailed today from Adia's birth mother.  She is asking me to call her as she has some personal things she would like to discuss with me.  My goal is to try and touch base with her tomorrow afternoon. Please pray that I can be an encouragement to her and that I will say what Jesus would have me to say.