Thank you to all of you who have been asking about our adoption, especially in regards to our most recent development. I had not heard anything Friday evening, in regards to the birth mother being shown our profile so I had already begun to process that this case was probably not going to be for us. I needed a sense of closure on the case so I contacted the social worker to get an update on where the case was at in regards to our family. They encourage the birth mother to choose 3 profiles so that in the case the adoptive parents she chooses, does not wish to proceed then they would move on down to number 2, etc. Another family has been chosen, but the social worker made it sound as though they may not be ready to commit??. She didn't know where we are at in the lineup, since she was not the social worker that presented the profiles to this birth mother. I really do not want to sit and think about if we were number 2 or 3 - - I don't want to build up any false hope. So we are moving on....waiting to see who God will bring along.
On Friday, we were told by a friend to contact one of her friends who has connections to a maternity house in Wichita. So we did, and emailed her our profile to be shown to any prospective birth mothers. I don't know if anything will come from this contact or not, as the counselor told me to contact her once a quarter.
Anyway - - my lesson for now is to let go, and let God. Very easy to say, not so easy to put into practice!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Pray about this coming Friday
We have been on quite the emotional roller coaster over the past week, and have also been frustrated as to what we should be doing in regards to our adoption budget. Most of the adoption opportunities that we have been given (we have had a couple more presented since last weekend) have been more than what we have originally budgeted. This caused us to think that maybe we needed to re-evaluate our budget a bit more and take into consideration that adoption expenses have gone up since our previous one. :)
Today, I checked with an agency in Ohio, that seemed to be so promising and could maybe even fit into our budget perfectly. When I called, however, I found that their website might have been a bit misleading as most of their cases are not at the price that they mentioned. So I decided I would check out the listings of pregnancy care centers in Kansas with the possibility of calling some of them to see if they would keep a copy of our portfolio on hand to show any of their clients. While doing that I also checked to see if there were any other adoption agencies in Wichita - -there was one. So I called them to see if they would be willing to network with our current agency and told them what we were looking for. Unfortunately they don't network with our agency, but they are willing to show our portfolio to a birth mother who is scheduled to come in to see them on Friday evening, sometime after 5:00 p.m. They are willing to show her our information without us even having filled out an application yet, which is pretty amazing! If she chooses us and there is a match, then of course we would need to fill out the application, etc. So the only two things they need as of right now, is our portfolio, which I have sent to them, and of course a copy of our home study. We do not have a copy of our home study, so this will require our social worker to forward this on to them. She is out of the office all day today and so my prayer is that she can get this done tomorrow as the agency presenting us needs this before hand. Friday morning would be the latest they would like to see the home study come through so that they can have a chance to read it and get to know us a little bit better before presenting us.
The birth mother that is to come in, is AA and due with a girl at the beginning of July. Our portfolio will be among 3-6 other portfolios, I believe, that will be presented. So we will be praying for her as she makes a difficult decision as to whom she should entrust her child, even if its not us.
I don't really know how to feel or what to think, to be honest, as we've had so many ups and downs so close together. But I do know that God is in control and I have to learn to trust Him, and continue to pursue all of these open doors until He closes them. If the birth mother chooses us, we could find out as early as Friday evening. So, will you join us in prayer for this specific situation that God will clearly guide this birth mother as she chooses a family for her daughter? If our social worker does not get our home study to them in time, that automatically withdraws us from the "showing" so that is a big prayer request in and of itself. Thank you so much for all of your support!
Today, I checked with an agency in Ohio, that seemed to be so promising and could maybe even fit into our budget perfectly. When I called, however, I found that their website might have been a bit misleading as most of their cases are not at the price that they mentioned. So I decided I would check out the listings of pregnancy care centers in Kansas with the possibility of calling some of them to see if they would keep a copy of our portfolio on hand to show any of their clients. While doing that I also checked to see if there were any other adoption agencies in Wichita - -there was one. So I called them to see if they would be willing to network with our current agency and told them what we were looking for. Unfortunately they don't network with our agency, but they are willing to show our portfolio to a birth mother who is scheduled to come in to see them on Friday evening, sometime after 5:00 p.m. They are willing to show her our information without us even having filled out an application yet, which is pretty amazing! If she chooses us and there is a match, then of course we would need to fill out the application, etc. So the only two things they need as of right now, is our portfolio, which I have sent to them, and of course a copy of our home study. We do not have a copy of our home study, so this will require our social worker to forward this on to them. She is out of the office all day today and so my prayer is that she can get this done tomorrow as the agency presenting us needs this before hand. Friday morning would be the latest they would like to see the home study come through so that they can have a chance to read it and get to know us a little bit better before presenting us.
The birth mother that is to come in, is AA and due with a girl at the beginning of July. Our portfolio will be among 3-6 other portfolios, I believe, that will be presented. So we will be praying for her as she makes a difficult decision as to whom she should entrust her child, even if its not us.
I don't really know how to feel or what to think, to be honest, as we've had so many ups and downs so close together. But I do know that God is in control and I have to learn to trust Him, and continue to pursue all of these open doors until He closes them. If the birth mother chooses us, we could find out as early as Friday evening. So, will you join us in prayer for this specific situation that God will clearly guide this birth mother as she chooses a family for her daughter? If our social worker does not get our home study to them in time, that automatically withdraws us from the "showing" so that is a big prayer request in and of itself. Thank you so much for all of your support!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Update From Friday's Post
Friday, I posted how we had been contacted by a social worker to see if we'd like to learn more about one of their birth families. Once we would receive the info, and if we "approved" of the birth family we could send the social worker our portfolio, etc, to be shown to the birth family.
Friday evening, with great excitement we saw that we had received the email that we had been waiting for - - to learn more details about this birth family. Looking through the information, pieces started falling into place - - there hadn't been drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc during the pregnancy, the mother was receiving prenatal care, they were looking for a Christian family to love their child unconditionally, and wanted to receive pictures via the adoption agency every couple of months. A perfect scenario in our minds as to what we have been looking for and waiting for in prospective birth parents. It seems like these kind of birth parents are rare anymore - - so we were getting excited! Then, the final piece of the puzzle that needed to fall into place, was how much the agency would charge us for this placement. Unfortunately, it was DOUBLE the amount of what we have budgeted for our adoption plan. Plus it did not cover any of the travel/lodging fees that would be required to go receive our child in Florida.
I wrestled with God for hours as to why these birth parents seemed so perfect, someone that we would actually like to pursue, but couldn't. Why did He allow us to be presented with this situation, when it would be out of our reach? I don't know the answer to this question, but emotionally and mentally, I kept trying to figure out a way to make this work. Finally, I had to come to the realization, that this puzzle piece was just not going to fit into this puzzle. :( This was by far, the most disappointing of all the cases we've been dealt so far. But, in God's timing, we will just need to wait for God to bring ALL the puzzle pieces together for our next forever child.
So, tomorrow, I will contact the social worker and let her know that we will need to decline on this case. Again, thank you for all of your continued prayers!
Friday evening, with great excitement we saw that we had received the email that we had been waiting for - - to learn more details about this birth family. Looking through the information, pieces started falling into place - - there hadn't been drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc during the pregnancy, the mother was receiving prenatal care, they were looking for a Christian family to love their child unconditionally, and wanted to receive pictures via the adoption agency every couple of months. A perfect scenario in our minds as to what we have been looking for and waiting for in prospective birth parents. It seems like these kind of birth parents are rare anymore - - so we were getting excited! Then, the final piece of the puzzle that needed to fall into place, was how much the agency would charge us for this placement. Unfortunately, it was DOUBLE the amount of what we have budgeted for our adoption plan. Plus it did not cover any of the travel/lodging fees that would be required to go receive our child in Florida.
I wrestled with God for hours as to why these birth parents seemed so perfect, someone that we would actually like to pursue, but couldn't. Why did He allow us to be presented with this situation, when it would be out of our reach? I don't know the answer to this question, but emotionally and mentally, I kept trying to figure out a way to make this work. Finally, I had to come to the realization, that this puzzle piece was just not going to fit into this puzzle. :( This was by far, the most disappointing of all the cases we've been dealt so far. But, in God's timing, we will just need to wait for God to bring ALL the puzzle pieces together for our next forever child.
So, tomorrow, I will contact the social worker and let her know that we will need to decline on this case. Again, thank you for all of your continued prayers!
Friday, April 20, 2012
New Possibility??
We have been remembering all the excitement and emotions that filled our lives as we reflect on Adia joining our family 5 years ago! What a blessing she has been to us!
In reflecting on where we are at with our current adoption, we began to wonder if we were putting "God in a box" by seeking to adopt a specific gender. We don't want to be caught in the attitude of saying we will adopt, but only if it is a boy. Therefore, today we contacted our social worker and said we would be open to any gender - - all we really want is a healthy child to love and treasure! Why not let God decide what is best for our family?!? After all, if we were to get pregnant, we couldn't care less what gender of the baby, we would just be elated, knowing that we were having a baby, and know that God knows what is best for us!! Why not do the same with adoption?!?!
After I got off the phone, I changed our status as to what we are seeking on our site through Adoption-Share. I then posted our status, much like how you'd change your facebook status, so that others could openly see that we had changed that status as well. Adoption centers, crisis pregnancy care centers, birth mothers, etc, all have access to our profile there on that site. Anyway---I was excited to see when I checked email that an agency had emailed us asking if we'd like more info about them and a birth mother they are working with!!!! Of course, I quickly responded, saying yes!! This baby would be due the first part of October and the gender is unknown, at least at this point. It is incredibly difficult to not get excited, knowing that this one may not work out either. But I look forward to getting some more information and seeing how God leads. Thanks for praying and going with us on this seemingly quite bumpy emotional roller coaster of our 'paper pregnancy'.
In reflecting on where we are at with our current adoption, we began to wonder if we were putting "God in a box" by seeking to adopt a specific gender. We don't want to be caught in the attitude of saying we will adopt, but only if it is a boy. Therefore, today we contacted our social worker and said we would be open to any gender - - all we really want is a healthy child to love and treasure! Why not let God decide what is best for our family?!? After all, if we were to get pregnant, we couldn't care less what gender of the baby, we would just be elated, knowing that we were having a baby, and know that God knows what is best for us!! Why not do the same with adoption?!?!
After I got off the phone, I changed our status as to what we are seeking on our site through Adoption-Share. I then posted our status, much like how you'd change your facebook status, so that others could openly see that we had changed that status as well. Adoption centers, crisis pregnancy care centers, birth mothers, etc, all have access to our profile there on that site. Anyway---I was excited to see when I checked email that an agency had emailed us asking if we'd like more info about them and a birth mother they are working with!!!! Of course, I quickly responded, saying yes!! This baby would be due the first part of October and the gender is unknown, at least at this point. It is incredibly difficult to not get excited, knowing that this one may not work out either. But I look forward to getting some more information and seeing how God leads. Thanks for praying and going with us on this seemingly quite bumpy emotional roller coaster of our 'paper pregnancy'.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Lessons in Waiting
Hi! Thought I might recap a bit for some of you who missed all the activity in our family yesterday and today. :) Yesterday morning, our social worker called us and asked us if we'd be willing to take a risk and wire some money to a birth mom who was wanting to place her 8 mos old mixed race boy up for adoption. This birth mother has been known to lie in the past, but we wanted to try and give her the benefit of the doubt that people can change and that maybe she'd start thinking about her children over herself. It wasn't much money, just enough to help her get a ticket for the bus, but it was a risk all the same. It was cool though, that God knew we wouldn't get our return back on that risk, and provided ALL the money back that we lost via a gift yesterday afternoon. :D Isn't God, great?!!
The bus was due to arrive this morning, so after she "should have been here", I contacted the social worker to get an update and found out that she had not taken the bus. Instead she had offered the excuse that she needed more money. So therefore, we are wondering if she isn't using this innocent child as a means for her to gain more money. Her lifestyle is that of prostitution, etc, so our hearts are heavy for the children she has (she was going to keep one of them, and place the baby for adoption). Even though, in our minds, the baby should be rescued, God is ultimately in control and we are at peace with His decision for our family. This doesn't mean we aren't disappointed, but are anxiously waiting to see who God has in mind for us. Instead of discouraging us to stop, it encourages us that much more to keep going!
God had to teach me something through this ordeal though. He had to teach me that I need to open my heart and life to the child he has for me instead of just giving God my limited expectations. Although I do believe God gives us the desires of our hearts, if our hearts are right with Him, He will change our desires to match His. I was partially disappointed when I found out that he was already 8 mos old - - I had missed so much of what I hoped to share with our adopted child. I was prepared for an infant, clothes and all -- - - I wouldn't have anything much for this 8 mos old child. But I came to peace with the fact that God would provide if this child was for us. God gave me such a peace and a love for this child, even though he wasn't the age that I at first would have chosen. This is only my preference, not everyone enjoys going through the stages of newborn, etc. I knew this child could reject me at this age, and I had to try to prepare myself for that when I look so forward to cuddling and rocking our new child.
Anyway...sorry for rambling. Again, these are only my thoughts and for those who wish to adopt older, that is awesome!! God is good and I know that whoever He has for us will be a child that I will dearly love, now matter how old he is! Thank you for your continued prayers for us and our family!
The bus was due to arrive this morning, so after she "should have been here", I contacted the social worker to get an update and found out that she had not taken the bus. Instead she had offered the excuse that she needed more money. So therefore, we are wondering if she isn't using this innocent child as a means for her to gain more money. Her lifestyle is that of prostitution, etc, so our hearts are heavy for the children she has (she was going to keep one of them, and place the baby for adoption). Even though, in our minds, the baby should be rescued, God is ultimately in control and we are at peace with His decision for our family. This doesn't mean we aren't disappointed, but are anxiously waiting to see who God has in mind for us. Instead of discouraging us to stop, it encourages us that much more to keep going!
God had to teach me something through this ordeal though. He had to teach me that I need to open my heart and life to the child he has for me instead of just giving God my limited expectations. Although I do believe God gives us the desires of our hearts, if our hearts are right with Him, He will change our desires to match His. I was partially disappointed when I found out that he was already 8 mos old - - I had missed so much of what I hoped to share with our adopted child. I was prepared for an infant, clothes and all -- - - I wouldn't have anything much for this 8 mos old child. But I came to peace with the fact that God would provide if this child was for us. God gave me such a peace and a love for this child, even though he wasn't the age that I at first would have chosen. This is only my preference, not everyone enjoys going through the stages of newborn, etc. I knew this child could reject me at this age, and I had to try to prepare myself for that when I look so forward to cuddling and rocking our new child.
Anyway...sorry for rambling. Again, these are only my thoughts and for those who wish to adopt older, that is awesome!! God is good and I know that whoever He has for us will be a child that I will dearly love, now matter how old he is! Thank you for your continued prayers for us and our family!
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