Our Decision

Once there was a young lady who had been hurt as a little girl. Because of her deep hurt and not knowing how to deal with it, she went searching for ways to bring happiness to her life. She would later meet a man who “showed” her the love she thought she was searching for.  This man had also been hurt growing up and was searching for the same things as this young lady. This couple would meet through the media of drugs and alcohol.  They would later have a son together, who was born addicted to those drugs that had been taken throughout her pregnancy.   Sadly, this mommy who dearly loved her little boy, would later be killed, leaving the two year old to the care of his daddy.  However, this daddy knew that the life of alcohol and drugs was not the proper environment in which to raise his son, so he made one of the wisest decisions in his life - - he chose to give his son a chance at a proper life.  He placed his little boy with his deceased wife’s family to raise.  This family loved this little boy, teaching him about Jesus and His love.  This boy would later trust Jesus as His Savior, go on missions trips, go to a Bible college and have a heart for telling others about Jesus.  All of these circumstances were used by the Lord in this young boy’s life to “grow” him into the man, husband, friend and father that he is today!  Praise the Lord for His protection over this boy’s life from the drugs that had affected his early life.

Fast forward 37 years…..there was a young girl who had to endure having her mommy die while she was young.  This girl was not privileged enough to know her father, so she was left to raise herself, feeling abandoned. As she grew older, the pain from her abandonment, caused her to seek love in all the wrong places. .  She would claim herself to be Muslim, but not necessarily practice this religion.  She would just want someplace to belong and be able to belong to something “worthwhile”.  She would end up down the round of alcohol and drugs and find herself pregnant 5 times.  For awhile, she would try to raise her children, but most of the time would struggle to do so appropriately.  She would often have to have her children run around the house without any clothes, at best a diaper.  The children would outgrow their clothes so quickly that she couldn’t afford to keep them clothed.  The oldest boy would often be made fun of at school, because he smelled because he had to keep wearing the same old dirty clothes, because his mother couldn’t get new clothes or afford to do much laundry.  The children would later go to live with members of this lady’s family so they could have a better chance at life.  The fourth pregnancy ended early in miscarriage and the 5^th pregnancy is currently about 13 weeks along and her family that has helped with her other children has now kicked this young mother out of the house and once again she is left with the feeling of being abandoned.  She then turned to the only one who has been faithful to help her in her times of need -- the woman at the maternity home who had helped her with her previous pregnancy.  She not only was seeking a place to live, but also to choose adoption for this new life inside of her.  She also desired to get clean from the lifestyle of drugs, get her GED and get a job.

This young mother has been recently referred to as “Mommy S”.  Both Skeeter and I feel drawn to this woman and her unborn child.  We so desire to not only love this hurting woman, but also to love her baby and raise this child as our own.  Our prayer is that God will protect this baby from the effects of the drug use during the first part of pregnancy, just as he did the little boy - - Skeeter.  We know that in any pregnancy, “clean” or not, we are taking risks, as those who place their children for adoption, do not always have the healthiest eating habits or lifestyles.  We know that after the baby is born and gets older, that they may have some emotional or psychological issues resulting from the drugs, but we also know that God can, if He would so choose, limit or eliminate those as well.  The emotional issues are something that we will likely have to deal with anyway, as those who are adopted will have some form of hurt that will need to be healed.  But our desire is to give this little child a chance at life… a chance to learn about Jesus… a chance to have an awesome testimony to share with others how Jesus rescued him from the environment of drugs and alcohol.  Who knows, maybe Jesus could even use this child in a ministry towards people who are hurting and struggling.

Therefore, after doing research, talking with medical personnel, praying about it and feeling at peace, we will be contacting Julie and letting her know that we would like to proceed with adopting the precious baby of Mommy “S”.  If however, this mommy chooses to abandon her efforts to remain clean throughout the rest of her pregnancy, we will need to possibly reconsider our decision.  Please continue to be in prayer for “S” that she will be able to remain drug free.  Also be praying for this baby, that he/she will be able to survive as the mommy’s body goes through the withdrawal.  We are hoping that it will work out for us to have contact with “S”.  We would love to not only show her that someone is in her corner who is cheering her on, but also to show her the love of Jesus.  It would be so awesome if through this ordeal, she would come to know Jesus, the ONLY One to whom she can run to and trust!!  We praise the Lord that Julie, who is with the maternity home, is also a believer and is open about her relationship with Jesus.

For me this particular situation has not only been an emotional but also a spiritual journey.  If you would have asked me a year ago (which we were) if I would have been open to adopting a baby from a mother addicted to drugs, I would have said NO WAY and would have run the opposite direction (Skeeter on the other hand has been more open to these situations based on his past).  This was WAY out of my comfort zone!  I know the danger of drugs and what possible side effects they can have when taken during pregnancy.  When this mother came along, for some reason I couldn’t run.  I tried!!  Each time I would argue with Jesus, it was as if He kept saying, “Trust me!”  This whole adoption journey has been about trust and with each fallen through placement, I have wondered what in the world Jesus was doing.  It is kind of interesting that “S” became pregnant with this baby around the time we lost our last baby.  I know that by saying yes to this baby that Jesus doesn’t mean that everything will be a bed of roses, but I know that whatever happens, Jesus will be the strength I need.  I know that I serve a God of Miracles and I am praying for Him to perform another one in the life of this mother and her unborn child!!

Thank you for coming along with us on this journey.  It isn’t finished yet, and we pray that we will continue to see Jesus working miracles!  This is what adoption is all about!

Check out the following link for the adoption story of Christian singer Mark Schultz and the story behind his song - Everything to Me

http://youtu.be/Z61zdZJ9uZc

Update on "S" and her Dr. Appt

I was able to make contact with Julie today in regards to the doctor appointment for "S". She is already struggling with withdrawal, and I pray that she will have the strength to stay in treatment and stick it out.  With the multiple drugs she was using that will make things a little bit more complicated.

With the ultrasound, the baby appears to be doing just fine and was active, so that is a praise.  However, as "S" and her body go through withdrawal, so will the baby, which can put the baby into stress.  So the next little bit, could be quite rocky for both of them. There is a chance that she could miscarry as her body goes through this process.

Now, they are going to work on getting some medical release forms signed so that we can get the results from the other tests that were conducted while at the doctor's visit.  Julie is also looking into seeing if she can get the birth dad to give his information so that she can pull up the papers needed for him to sign over his rights early.

Please continue to be in prayer for us as we make this huge decision.  We have to let Julie know our final decision by February 1.

Cause for Concern

We received a call from Julie this evening that due to the holiday, they weren't able to transfer "S" to the maternity home until today.  To be approved at the home you have to go through an assessment which includes a urine analysis.  Unfortunately, she did not pass the test, and is now in a inpatient treatment center to get help and to get her system clean.  If/when she passes the treatment, then if there is room she will go back to the maternity home.

Our questions that we are researching and praying about is whether or not we are looking at some severe birth defects due to the drugs (looking at marijuana and/or meth).  She has a doctor's appointment on Thursday and hopefully they will do a ultrasound and hopefully that will give us some more answers.  Any of you who are medically inclined and or know where we should research, we would love to hear from you.   Since she is stopping now, will the risks be less or just as bad as if she had continued through the pregnancy? 

At this point, it sounds as though because of the drugs, "S" will not get to keep her child no matter what. The baby will either be placed for adoption or be taken by the state and placed in foster care.

Please be in prayer for us as we seek God's will in this situation!

Update on Mommy "S"

I was able to reach our social worker yesterday, but unfortunately it didn't pan out as to helping to find housing for mommy "S".  So I contacted Julie to let her know what I had found out and she took it from there. 

Today Julie called with the update that she had been able to find housing for "S" at a maternity home.  She will be taking "S" to that home on Monday.  Once she gets settled in, then she will begin the process of getting her medical care appointments set up.  So it could possibly be a couple of more weeks yet before we learn more about results from an ultrasound.  Somehow, there was a communication error and "S"  isn't as far along as we first thought.  She is only 13-14 weeks along, so her due date isn't until the beginning of August.

The next step Julie wanted me to take was to contact the attorney that we will be using.  I attempted to reach her, but had to leave a message.  So will look forward to proceeding next week after the holiday weekend.

We sent Julie an updated paper copy of our profile, to show to "S" so we are praying it will arrive in time to show her before she heads to the maternity home.  So far what Julie has been sharing with "S" has been received positively, so will just have to see how things continue to progress.  Thanks for praying!

Possible Birth Family

A friend of ours had called yesterday to offer us some baby clothes that she had been saving for us.  Since our baby girl situation had fallen through, she said we should contact her friend who helps with birth families.  I had been in contact with her in the past, and had just a few days ago tried reaching that friend, Julie, and hadn't been able to make contact with her.  So I decided I would re-try connecting with Julie yesterday, to see what she had as far as possible contacts for us (she had been sent our profile).  Anyway - - yesterday, she had nothing new to report to us.

This afternoon she called about a situation that had just come up today.  A birthmother is about 22-24 weeks along and both she and the father are willing to sign over their rights.  They however, do need housing, so we will have to work with our previous social worker to see if we can get some help for them with housing.  This is a HUGE prayer request as they are VERY difficult to get a hold of. 

Also, she has not had any prenatal care, and her previous pregnancy ended with a miscarriage, with a baby who had some birth defects.  So our concern would be to see what the results are when they get the ultrasound to see how the baby is developing.

There are so many steps that need to be taken on this - -so we are starting with the step by step process.  I don't know if I should be excited or not after having the previous 2 babies fall through.  Thanks for praying and I will keep you posted as I learn more details.  Now to pray I can reach the social worker.......