Lessons in Waiting

Hi!  Thought I might recap a bit for some of you who missed all the activity in our family yesterday and today. :)  Yesterday morning, our social worker called us and asked us if we'd be willing to take a risk and wire some money to a birth mom who was wanting to place her 8 mos old mixed race boy up for adoption.  This birth mother has been known to lie in the past, but we wanted to try and give her the benefit of the doubt that people can change and that maybe she'd start thinking about her children over herself.  It wasn't much money, just enough to help her get a ticket for the bus, but it was a risk all the same.  It was cool though, that God knew we wouldn't get our return back on that risk, and provided ALL the money back that we lost via a gift yesterday afternoon. :D  Isn't God, great?!! 

The bus was due to arrive this morning, so after she "should have been here", I contacted the social worker to get an update and found out that she had not taken the bus.  Instead she had offered the excuse that she needed more money.  So therefore, we are wondering if she isn't using this innocent child as a means for her to gain more money.  Her lifestyle is that of prostitution, etc, so our hearts are heavy for the children she has (she was going to keep one of them, and place the baby for adoption).  Even though, in our minds, the baby should be rescued, God is ultimately in control and we are at peace with His decision for our family.  This doesn't mean we aren't disappointed, but are anxiously waiting to see who God has in mind for us.  Instead of discouraging us to stop, it encourages us that much more to keep going!

God had to teach me something through this ordeal though.  He had to teach me that I need to open my heart and life to the child he has for me instead of just giving God my limited expectations.  Although I do believe God gives us the desires of our hearts, if our hearts are right with Him, He will change our desires to match His.  I was partially disappointed when I found out that he was already 8 mos old - - I had missed so much of what I hoped to share with our adopted child.  I was prepared for an infant, clothes and all -- - - I wouldn't have anything much for this 8 mos old child.  But I came to peace with the fact that God would provide if this child was for us.  God gave me such a peace and a love for this child, even though he wasn't the age that I at first would have chosen.  This is only my preference, not everyone enjoys going through the stages of newborn, etc.  I knew this child could reject me at this age, and I had to try to prepare myself for that when I look so forward to cuddling and rocking our new child. 

Anyway...sorry for rambling.  Again, these are only my thoughts and for those who wish to adopt older, that is awesome!!  God is good and I know that whoever He has for us will be a child that I will dearly love, now matter how old he is!  Thank you for your continued prayers for us and our family!