We first heard about Mommy D, on March 25. Keep in mind that at this point, we were still trying to figure out what Mommy S was going to do. All the information that we received on Mommy D was that she was in jail for drug paraphenalia, that she had an addiction to crack, that the baby's father could be 1 of 4 men, that this was her 5th pregnancy, that she was herself adopted and that she was bi-polar and a bit quirky. The social worker had not yet made a contract with this special lady, so that was as far as we got for information on that day. On March 27, we found out that Mommy S, was off the radar and that we just needed to let her go.
Because there wasn't any contract with the social worker for Mommy D, and after having all of the failed matches, I honestly didn't hold out much hope for this situation either. So...I kept chasing other opportunities that came along, all of which did not work out. :)
On April 15, we were told what to expect financially should we proceed to go forward with Mommy D. We were told that we could meet with her if we wanted and that there was another family interested in this case, but that we had first choice pick. Today was also the day that a contract was made between the social worker and Mommy D.
On April 17, we attempted our first meeting with Mommy D and the social worker. I called Skeeter (I was already in Wichita), and he left early from work so that we could meet later that evening with Mommy D. The meeting time had been set, and then we got a call from the social worker saying that the time needed to be changed to a later time that evening. So we waited and waited while the social worker drove around trying to find Mommy D. She did not appear and the meeting didn't happen. So once again, I prepared myself for another loss. I kept telling myself that this was not the baby for us!
On April 28, our social worker called us and told us that Mommy D would be available to meet us that evening. So we set up a time and place, knowing that this could be another dry run. The meeting started later than planned, but Mommy D did show up!! She came up to us at the table (we met at McDonald's) and gave us a letter that she had written us and said that she was nervous and then walked away to go and meet the kids. This is what the letter said:
I'm different from the normal. I am a Christian who is frequently not able to understand
why no matter how hard I try nobody sees the person that I am. Why would I
keep a child when I can't take care of myself. I'd rather give her to someone who
can show her a better life than I can. So thank you for wanting her.
I choose you to take her hand. Take care of her and love her and
let her know I would have kept her but I can't.
On April 30, we received the copy of the contract to sign saying that we would match with Mommy D. We asked for medical records, stating that we would feel more comfortable signing after we had a chance to take a peek at those. We also received an email from the social worker with a note forwarded on from Mommy D.
Dear Skeeter and Joy -
I am so happy to hear that you have decided to allow my child in your home. I am sure you will be terrific parents to her. I am looking forward to meeting you again and I apologize for my rush. I am blessed that God has allowed you to enter our lives. Be safe, careful, and keep praying for us (me and baby). I just met you but I love you.
Until next time,
Mommy D
On May 4, we received medical information on Mommy D, but nothing on the baby. Time was up and we needed to make a decision.
On May 6, Mommy D made this sign for us.
On July 8, we found out that Mommy D had thankfully stopped the spotting that had started to occur. She was also sick, with what could have been bronchitis.
On July 13, our social worker called us and said that Mommy D wanted us to come and see her. We met the social worker and together we went to visit Mommy D. She was so excited to see us!! The social worker told us that Mommy D is always telling her to tell us that she loves us!
On July 18, we found out that a second agency had been involved with Mommy D and that another adoptive couple had given Mommy D some money. There had been no contract signed with this other couple but oh my word, that was a heart wrenching day. Mommy D reassured our social worker that she was committed to us and that she wanted us to have her baby and that she hadn't ever met with the other couple. We would however, need to reimburse this other couple the money that they had put out for Mommy D. We were fine with that!! I do however, feel very badly for the other adoptive couple. I can only imagine the heartbreak that they experienced to find out that their match had failed. I'm not sure if Mommy D was shopping around trying to see how she could get the most money, but God's hand was still in this adventure. While we were trying to recover emotionally from this news, we found out that there was a possibility of a third agency being involved, but that lead didn't seem to pan out. There were lots of tears that day as I prepared myself for another failed match! I even asked the social worker if we were in danger of losing the baby. She didn't seem concerned.
On August 5, there was concern that Mommy D's blood pressure was getting too high as she was having headaches and her legs and ankles were very swollen. However, at this point, she still did not have her medical card so that she could go to a doctor. I was getting scared that something could not only happen to her but also to the baby. However, there was nothing I could do to "will" her to the doctor so I simply had to trust that Jesus was in control.
On August 15, the medical card finally arrived!!
On August 19, Mommy D finally made it to the doctor and they changed her due date to Sept. 20 (original due date at the early sonogram was August 22) due to her and the baby measuring small. So our emotional roller coaster continued as we prepared ourselves for waiting another month instead of only a few days until the baby would arrive.
On August 22, we received a call at 6:52 a.m., that Mommy D's water had broken and she wanted us to come!! By 8:23 a.m., we were on our way! And you know the rest of the story!! :) Just the night before I had told a friend how we had gotten the van unpacked so we wouldn't keep hauling all of our baby things around for another month. She "warned" me that God just might give us a surprise! Boy did He ever give us a surprise!! Not only were we surprised by getting "the call" but we were also surprised when we found out that all the girlie things we had would no longer be needed....we had a SON! Someone asked if we didn't originally start out this journey looking for a boy. YES, we had! :) However, with how long the process was taking, we decided to leave the gender in God's hands and give us the child that He knew would belong in our family. :)
Fast forward to us arriving home. We were so glad that the waiting for our precious blessing was finally over. However, nothing could be better than to have everything be finalized. After we had gotten home, and we were enjoying our Little Man, I received a text on September 3, from the original "agency" that had been with Mommy D asking if I knew that she had been their client. Talk about a whirl of emotions flying through my heart real fast. I thought, oh great, now that everything is going smoothly, something else is going to pop up and the other couple is going to try and get the baby back. How did she find out that he had been born? I have no idea! But thankfully, nothing came out of that either!
I had hoped that while we were at the hospital, that we could have gotten some pictures with Mommy D, but due to the less than ideal circumstances, that did not happen. Our social worker says she has taken lots of pictures of her so that Jaydon could have pictures, but so far we have not been able to get those. So...this is the only picture we have of our precious Mommy D. This picture was sent to us via a text on April 15, when we first started to learn about her.
I have no idea who the child is that she is holding, but she was on a "run" helping our social worker pick up some other birth mothers. This is the ONLY picture we have of her and I pray that if we aren't able to get anymore of her, that this will serve as some kind of comfort to Jaydon. Jaydon will be taught that his birth mother did love him, but could not take care of him, and wanted him to have a life that she knew she could not provide. It wasn't because she did not care or because she did not want him!!
Mommy D is the exact type of birth mother that we would have originally run from. Not only was she on drugs, but she had very little prenatal care. I kept thinking to myself about how many problems we could experience with adopting a known drug baby. We didn't even have proof that this baby was forming correctly in the womb. All we had was word of mouth that the baby was fine. I educated myself to the best of my ability as to what we could be looking at long term should the drug exposure cause withdrawals and/or other symptoms. However, no matter what type of argument I came up with, Jesus kept telling me to trust Him. I felt like He kept telling me that no matter what the "medical" world might say, that the baby was going to be ok! Lots of risk and lots of faith (which is a part of adoption) !! I knew that even if we had a perfectly "normal/perfect" match, that something could always come up that would be less than ideal. No matter what the situation....I knew I had to flex my faith and trust that Jesus knew what He was doing even though I had very little information and had so many unanswered questions! For someone that likes to plan things out, this was a pretty challenging lesson to learn. So thankful, our family said, "Yes!" to Jesus, even with all of the unknowns. All of the kids adore him! I can't imagine life now, without our little guy! So many people say how blessed Jaydon is to have us as his family, but we are the ones blessed!!
No comments:
Post a Comment