We were able to touch base with Julie today, the therapist. One of my fears after one of my conversations with the attorney and Julie was that "S" might have been disappearing as her contact level with Julie had been decreasing. She has been in contact with Julie it just hasn't been as often as it was when she first started. "S" was sick over the weekend so had to be taken to the doctor and be prescribed some antibiotics. We pray she is feeling better and that she will take care of herself as well as the baby. While at the doctor they ran more tests, so will be interested to see what the results are of those tests as the first appointment didn't have any lab work done.
"S" has been given money to rent a rental from her boyfriend's dad for this week and then she has "promised" that she will get back into treatment. Her medical card is still not updated which is making everything that much more difficult. She has been set up to have an appointment with an ob, next week, so hopefully her card will be set up soon?! This dear girl supposedly does not have any shoes and has shown up before, in this cold and dreary weather, with shorts on and no shoes. How my heart grieves for this searching woman!
Where do Skeeter and I fall in this case? Have we made any decisions yet? Julie has told "S" that if she does not get help in the form of treatment that she will lose her adoptive couple. "S" will also lose her help with her therapist if she doesn't get her medical card squared away. Now for someone like me, who isn't on drugs, that would scare me into doing something about it. However, when someone is on drugs, they don't think like we do. I told someone today that we are dealing with a little girl inside a grown up's body. She wants to do what is right, but the addiction often talks louder than what is right. So we continue to pray for her that she will see what she needs to do and follow through with it. Skeeter and I are waiting to see if she "will get her act together" before we make any decisions. We do not feel pressure from the attorney or the therapist to make any kinds of decisions, at least right now. We are ALL waiting...to see what "S" will do.
We are not legally matched, so we have not notified Angel Adoption yet to say that they need to hold off on advertising for us. So we have nothing to lose there. Our first social worker called me yesterday and said that I had been on her mind...she will keep us in mind for prospective birth mothers as well.
Not making a definitive decision is something that I am not used to. I am used to being presented with a case and then saying yes or no. The decision to "wait and see", is something that Jesus is challenging us (at least me) with, but neither Skeeter or I feel led to "give up" on "S"....just yet. We continue to pray for wisdom. I want so badly to pray for "S" but lately have been struggling with that as I fear in my heart I will become all the more attached to her and the baby and then find out in the end that I will again have to say good-bye. That is not correct reasoning, but my heart has been so broken that I am trying to protect it from being hurt again. But we know that the choice to love, comes with the risk of being hurt. So I will try to do better at daily praying for her as she is not only fighting drugs, but the enemy of Satan.
On a more positive note...I recently had an amazing call from Adia's birth mom. She and the birth father have gotten married since placing Adia, and have both trusted Jesus as their Savior. Their fire for the Lord and trying to witness to others has been such an inspiration for me! We who have been saved for so long seem to lose that fire! :( Not only are they getting their life on track, they are now expecting a little boy, due in June. However, she is having complications with the pregnancy, and is mostly on bed rest. I pray that that this precious little boy....Adia's brother!....will survive and that the rest of the pregnancy will go smoother!
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